Saturday, September 12, 2009

I hold these truths to be self evident...

What's with this picture? I'm not sure why I chose it...perhaps it reminds me of a goofier time. Actually I am certain that is why, now that I think about it. I know that with a child comes many more goofy times ahead, just right now everything feels so serious.

Because my kitchen is in shambles. Because my back aches when I stand too long. Because I want food when I want it and I want it now. I have been cooking less, and in turn eating less healthy, and so with that confession I thought there could be more to follow. It took me about 45 minutes to make a simple green salad with tomato. When I was finally finished and clearing our messy table to eat, Chopper asked if there was a magic ingredient like "unicorn blood" that I may have needed to finish the meal (he isn't always so snide, and he was actually very busy moving, cleaning, and unpacking as well). So with this I digress. Simple salads, toast with avocado, and yogurt with fruit for breakfast...this is what I have to share with you. I hope you enjoy.

10 more savory Confessions as suggested be written by Julie Persons on her blog.

1. I pride myself on being an adventurous person, but this can be work for me at times. When I am being my most adventurous it is not without effort.

2. Sometimes I reach a point when eating vegetables that they start to make me nauseous, I'll be cruising through, loving them and all of a sudden yuck. I can never tell if it is mental reaction, but I think it may be.

3. Because of my occasional nausea/vegetable eating experiences, I understand sometimes why people have a hard time eating healthy and would rather eat a burger. I think it is the weightlessness that scares us (me) and may turn our (my) stomach(s).

4. I am scared of how my heart is going to open when I have my baby. I am not a gusher and don't intend on becoming one, but what if I can't help it? At the same time- how freeing.

5. I wore lots of make up in high school and after high school would work hard to match my eye shadow and nail polish to my outfits.

6. When I look at fashion magazines (by accident) I am amazed of how calculated they truly are. I usually get done with a session and I'm ready for a facial and to buy the $100 jeans that I deserve. Those persuasions are strong and I pray for the women that are under the spell, every one of us.

7. I worry (sometimes, and in the most rational ways possible) about not being the baby anymore when I have my baby.

8. I love that Chopper has a zero tolerance for drama, it keeps me in check.

9. I love that we still have a roommate and our transient island life, while on the mainland we have a house and do things like pick out paint colors and dishes. It is a balance that works for me. The undomesticated domesticate. Hearing myself say, "we bought a dining room table today" totally grosses me out, I have such judgments of it- yet love my dining room table.

10. There is a hidden perfectionist underneath the pile of clothes on my bedroom floor and my dusty dashboard. Although I can't quite pinpoint when she arises. Sometimes its a salad dressing, sometimes a painting, but she's there, she's critical and if I'm not careful she can leave me feeling very unsatisfied.

11. I worry that posting the last 10 "confessions" is far too indulgent and self involved, somehow posting "this" as #11 makes it less so.


Madeline Rains said...

Not self-indulgent at all. You're even more real now which makes us be more real - which is why #4 is nothing but good! It won't break.

You are awesome.

Emily said...

Your heart will definitely blow wide open which is all at once the best feeling and if you let it be, the very worst. Someone once said to me, "having a child is like watching your heart outside of your self" and it is true. Just enjoy - it is all you can do! Gush away. I have called my daughters honey bun, honey bunny, muffin head, pumpkin, etc. in public. Are you gagging or what?

natalie said...

P: Regarding #4, your heart will open wide and it can't be helped, nor should it. Being a mother for many women is one of the most satisfying accomplishments and you will soon find out why.
#10: It's no secret that I have very messy areas in my house & car also, but also a perfectionist streak, so I am understanding this one completely sweetheart!